the tears that never stop

it took longer,
to realize,
there's one part that's missing.
there's an empty spot.
where it has always been there.
but the ignorance cause it to be abandoned,
to be lonely,
to be scared,
to be hurt,
to be ignored,
and has never been mend,
or forgiven,
or taken care of properly.
but when it is taken away,
it becomes empty.
nothing can ever filled it like she did.
because she is also part of me,
who has done nothing wrong,
and it hurt to see and hear that she used to be hurt by me.
the one that should protect her,
the one that should take care of her,
the one that should be a good example,
the one that should never have grudge against her,
but, could it be too late?
to ask for forgiveness?
there were never, even once that I say, "I'm sorry".
"I'm so sorry. for being bad"
"I'm so sorry for never ask for your forgiveness"
"I'm so sorry for being such an evil person to you"
"I'm so sorry for saying bad things to you"
"I'm so sorry for being jealous towards you since you are born"
"I'm so sorry for hurting you"
and there was never a time where I beg that you could forgive me.
because of my ego and ignorance.
from the bottom of my heart...
before I die...
before I have no time anymore,
I am so sorry...
my little ones...
because it takes time for me to say that I am sorry,
because I never love you properly...